Where to find love or dates

Match.com
Setting up an account on Match.com is probably the most annoying aspect of the site since it takes up to 20-40 minutes, but you probably won’t regret doing it once you’re in. With an emphasis on dating compatibility, Match highlights profiles of interest in your ‘Daily Matches’ section, and encourages in-person meetings through features like ‘Date Spark’ and ‘Stir’. Profiles are also fairly detailed and can display up to 26 photos, which is way more than most other sites allow.

POF.com
Creating a POF account takes around half an hour depending on how much attention you pay to filling out the open-ended questions. On more than one occasion, the site will remind you not to include any inappropriate language – a clear sign that POF seeks to cater to daters of all kinds (not just hookup). Despite having a bit more of a basic feel, POF manages to offer many features that aren’t dissimilar to those offered by competing sites like FriendFinder-X.com and Match. For example, Meet Me is a Tinder-esque function that allows you to scroll through photos one-by-one, each time choosing to say ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘maybe’. POF also offers a Relationship Needs Assessment, which is a great way to learn about your own strengths and weaknesses within a couple.

FriendFinder-X.com
By far one of the most visited adult sites out there, Friend Finder-X is harnessing quite the reputation for its X-rated personals service. And with its extensive features – from free entertainment to intuitive messaging functions – we get why it’s such a popular choice. Signing up is easy, and can be done in less that a minute. After selecting your sexual identity (all are welcome) and preferences, you’re asked to fill in a very basic questionnaire (birthday, location, username, etc.). For those of you who are a little kinkier, Friend Finder-X also allows you to sign-up as a couple or group. Once you’re in, Friend Finder-X is borderline overwhelming with its fully loaded pages and broad browsing options. Members can also participate in live action forums, see what’s trending and view adult content, like movies.

FriendFinder.com
Friend Finder positions itself as a fun place to be if you’re in the mood for fun, but not necessarily a full-fledged relationship. If you’re curious, you don’t actually have to sign-up to start browsing profile thumbnails, but you will have to create an account if you want to see anything up-close or if you want to communicate with anyone. Getting set-up takes a little over five minutes. The Friend Finder questionnaire doesn’t hassle you with too-many open-ended questions, but you can fill out more detailed sections about yourself once you’re in. The site provides plenty of ways to interact within the Friend Finder community. Chat rooms let you spark conversations with groups of people, while IM helps you get to know people more intimately. Winks, on the other hand, are the subtlest way of getting someone’s attention.

AshleyMadison.com
Everyone knows about the extramarital exploits of, say, Bill Clinton, but the biggest name in affairs has to be the affair-focused dating site, Ashley Madison, with its very clear motto, “Life is short. Have an affair.” Now, we couldn’t talk about Ashley Madison without acknowledging the hack in 2015 that ended up exposing upwards of 30 million users. It’s clearly safe to say that Ashley Madison slipped up somewhere, if not in its mission to normalize extramarital affairs. While, sure, it’s worth noting the risks associated with online dating in general, this site was specifically targeted for promoting cheating. As we reported at the time of the Ashley Madison hack, the ramifications of the leak resulted in a lot of public shaming and personal drama for anyone involved. Suffice to say, the dating site has rapidly fallen from its seat at the top of the affairs dating category and will likely never recover — for better or worse, that’s up to you.

GetItOn.com
Three minutes and 11 questions is all it takes to get an account set up on GetItOn.com. The sexual compatibility survey covers all the bases, from your own physical appearance to those of your ideal match, and what kind of relationship you’re interested in pursuing. Speaking of compatibility, member profiles are always accompanied by a percentage, which indicates how well any two given members should get along. Beyond that, search allows members to search for matches based on location, who’s online, most recently added profiles, etc. As per usual, the top nav is the best place to check out your browsing options, which include a live cam section and Hotlist. Once a match has been made, members have a couple different ways to communicate, including GetItOn’s emailing system and ‘Flirt’, which is a casual way to showing interest in someone’s profile.

GetItOn.com
Adult Friend Finder boasts an easy, 5-step sign-up process. Once you’ve specified your sexual identity and what interests you’d like to pursue, you’ll need to fill a mandatory introductory blurb (18 characters minimum). Once in, you’ll immediately notice the sexy, if not provocative, profiles and banner ads that take up most of the homepage. From there, you can browse the top navigation bar for everything from What’s New (for finding the most recently added profiles) to Live Action chatrooms (speaks for itself). Members can also customize their ‘Cupid preferences’ in order to limit or narrow down what profiles they wish see. This can come in extremely handy if you’re looking for a specific kind of match based on physical appearance, fetish, location, etc.

Passion.com
As one of the prime destinations for daters of a more sensual persuasion, Passion.com doesn’t take longer than 60 seconds to sign-up to. Catering to singles, couples, and groups of any sexual orientation, the site can be used to make both online and in-person connections. The layout is easy to navigate and uncluttered, putting all the emphasis on browsing erotic photos and mingling with online personals. Furthermore, interactive features like adult chatrooms, direct and instant messaging, and a Facebook-like newsfeed for posting and commenting on status updates make it a more-than-meets-the-eye hookup site. Unlike some other sites in the adult category, Passion.com allows users to create very extensive profiles. You can browse friend networks, read up on detailed Q&As, and even see what “sexual academy” courses others have completed.

iHookup.com
Signing up to iHookUp.com only takes a minute, but creating a detailed profile requires answering a few additional questions (22 closed and 10 open-ended). While some may prefer shorter questionnaires, iHookUp’s process means that members on this site tend to care more about who exactly they are connecting with (a good thing). Unlike HornyMatches.com, iHookUp’s layout is smooth, modern and very enjoyable to browse. The uncluttered page design encourages members to begin interacting with others from the start, the goal being to meet “friends with benefits”. For added fun, the site provides icebreakers that can be exchanged between matches or flirtations. Other great features include two personalized reports that are created based on your sign-up answers. The Passion report gives you insight into your own dating, romance and sex tendencies, while the three-month forecast provides info based on what the site calculates to be your “fated connections, unexpected surprises, sexual progress and erotic energy”.

XMatch.com
Looking for a stimulating service that will expand your comfort zone, without compromising reliability? Welcome to XMatch.com. It’s part of the Friend Finder network, which means it works similarly to other established sites like AdultFriendFinder.com and FriendFinder-x.com. Sign-up takes about 20 minutes if taken seriously (i.e. if all open-ended questions are fully answered). Once in, you can browse the top menu bar to find matches, interact with the XMatch community (via live cams or chatrooms), see what’s trending, edit your profile and more.

Where to find a new date or relationship

eHarmony.com
How does it work? If you are serious about looking for that special thing called love, then this is the site for you. eHarmony take this match-making lark very seriously, making them one of the best online dating sites around. They’ve even patented The eHarmony Compatibility Matching System. That’s right. They’ve taken 35 years of research to come up with a Relationship Questionnaire and pride themselves on matching users with people who are actually compatible with them.

match.com
How does it work? match is the most widely-used dating site in the world and has nearly 1.8 million subscribers. It works in the most traditional way: Simply create a profile, check out your potential matches, send them a few messages and then arrange to meet for a date. There are also various off-shoots of match.com with microsites for gay and lesbian dating, Asian dating, Christian dating and Polish dating. The love-gods at match also arrange singles events and provide online dating advice, so it’s easy to see what makes them one of our best online dating sites.

Lovestruck.com
How does it work? Lovestruck helps you target potential partners according to location and it covers many of the major cities across the world. It’s aimed at time-starved professionals, who due to busy work and social lives simply don’t have the time to date. Lovestruck helps put you in touch with people who are near you – be it where you work or live – to save you precious minutes or hours travelling to and from a date. The site also hosts regular events which are a fun, relaxed way to meet people.

DatingDirect.com
How does it work? There are no gimmicks or USPs with DatingDirect. In fact, it’s fairly similar to our old friends Match, mentioned above. You can start looking at potential dates for free, then when you like the look of someone and fancy striking up a conversation, you need to subscribe. Like a lot of the best online dating sites, it also has a handy instant messenger service which makes chatting to your matches easy and breezy.

PARSHIP.com
How does it work? This is sold as a serious online dating site for ‘discerning singles.’ A bit like eHarmony, PARSHIP uses a patented test, this time called The PARSHIP principle®, which analyses 32 personality traits and is based on an algorithm of 136 rules. It sounds complicated, but that’s not for you to worry about. Just sign up, do the test and get chatting to all those love-compatible people out there.

pof.com
How does it work? Plenty of Fish works by asking users to take a special POF Relationship Chemistry Predictor test, which measures self-confidence, family-orientation, self-control, social dependency and easygoingness. You’re then matched to those most compatible to you.

Mysinglefriend.com
How does it work? Mysinglefriend.com is the brainchild of TV presenter Sarah Beeny and it works by each member on the site being put forward and described by a friend. The site aims to get rid of the ‘cringe factor’ associated with having to big yourself up through your online profile and makes it more of a fun community, where like-minded people can chat, meet and potentially fall in lurve.

BeautifulPeople.com
How does it work? This online dating site does exactly what it says on the tin and only people deemed beautiful enough will be allowed to join. To become a member, applicants are required to be voted in by existing members of the opposite sex. Members rate new applicants over a 48-hour period based on whether or not they find the applicant ‘beautiful’. It sounds harsh, but the site claims that by admitting people based on their looks they’re removing the first hurdle of dating, saying that because everyone on the site is a fitty, members can concentrate on getting to know people’s character and personalities. Beautiful People also promises access to exclusive parties and top guest lists around the globe. Now for that brutal 48-hour wait…

Tastebuds.fm
How does it work? A similar taste in music can be a great indicator as to whether you’re compatible with someone, so the fine folks behind Tastebuds have struck gold with their music-based online datingsite. Getting started is dead simple: pick three artists or bands that you’re interested in, the gender you’re looking to date and press ‘go’. It’s a fun and relaxed site, which can introduce you to new music, concert buddies and potentially even your own real-life Caleb Followill.

How to get a date if you are not her type

There is an awesome psychological secret, it’s called the principle of consistency and commitment.

Let’s say you ask someone on a date, and they say to you, “Sorry, you’re not my type.” In my opinion, one of the worst responses you could give is to ask, “Why?” ”Why?” I hear you ask, with a hint of sarcasm. I’m glad you asked. What happens when you ask this type of question? The other person goes inside their head and starts thinking of the reason or reasons why they think you’re not their type! “Well, I prefer X, Y and Z.” (Or they lie to you, to spare your feelings.) Now, not only have you got them thinking about why you’re not their ideal guy or girl (bad thing!), you’ve also made them say out loud their reasons for thinking you’re not their type – another bad thing!

Here’s why that’s bad:
According to psychologists, people don’t like to appear inconsistent. (Sure, people are inconsistent all the time! We just hate to appear this way.) If a person’s words don’t match their actions, they can come across as indecisive, confused, or even two-faced. So when a person makes a statement, they will usually defend it and act in line with that statement, in order to avoid appearing
inconsistent.

So, by asking your potential date, “Why am I not your type?”, not only do they have to stop and think up reasons or excuses why you’re not, you’re also essentially committing them (by getting them to state the reasons out loud) to act consistently with that statement – ie. to reject you as “not their type”! Instead, consider re-framing the question as a positive. “What would motivate you to date me?” or, “What could I do to persuade you to date me” is positive, and may get them thinking about the reasons why they would hook up. Plus, if they tell you, you’ll know exactly what they need in order to take the action you desire!

In fact, you could go much further than this. Let me tell you about someone who uses the principle of consistency and commitment to get hot dates who are much younger than him. He’s in his 40’s, and they are usually in their early 20’s. Now, with people being what they are, this would normally be a bit of a challenge. So how does he do it? He starts out by asking the girl to name an older actor that she finds attractive, like Michael Douglas or Sean Connery. Next, he asks her to describe what she finds attractive about him. Then he gets her to explain how a young woman could fall for an older man like Connery. Once she’s justified how she could fall for an older man (commitment), suddenly the age difference becomes much less important, and getting the date becomes
so much easier! (She wants to act consistently with her stated reasons!)

And now you also understand why companies run promotions that invite you, in 50 words or less, to complete the sentence, “I Like My Personal Super-Widget Automatic because…” Once we’ve committed ourselves to an opinion, we tend to want to act consistently with that opinion, don’t we?