How not to always fail

Guest article from Shawn:

My wife and I just got back from our annual trip to New Orleans
with some friends.

And while there, our friend recommended some amazing places
where the NOLA locals go to eat.

So, our end goal was amazing food. We KNEW exactly what we
wanted.

So, my friend took out Google Maps, and it led us right to our
destination. We got there and hauled ass on some of the most
amazing food I’ve ever had.

BUT… we had an exact end destination in mind. EXACT.

So, we could simply backtrack our way… and go from where
we WERE… use Google maps to get us where we wanted to go.

In LIFE, rarely do we do that.

I know I don’t.

I know I want SOMETHING.

Maybe more money, more social events, more vacations, a
better career, etc…

But often, it doesn’t get pinpointed down to the EXACT thing you
want. So as a result, we never get there.

It’s like plugging “anywhere” into Google Maps.

You don’t get where you want.

Until you can say “I want to make _____ a year, working ______ job,
working _____ many days, and selling ______ product or service…
you can NEVER get where you want.

If you say “I want to make more money”…. you’ll almost always
fail.

If you say “I want to lose weight”… you’ll almost always fail.

Because you’re not giving your brain an ideal target, one which
you can then take the necessary steps to get there.

If you say “I want to lose weight”… then sure, maybe you’ll start
doing a few things here and there… but success won’t be permanent.

But if you say “On April 20th, I’m going to enter a bodybuilding
contest. I need to lose 30 pounds, get to 5% body fat, and I want
to have visible abs, etc…

From there, you can start to bridge the gap and make concrete
actual plans on HOW you’re going to get there.

You can write out the work out steps, the nutrition steps, the cardio
steps, etc… you start creating your “google map” to get where
you want to end up.

Most people NEVER get what they want in their lives, because
they only have a really vague idea. It’s not specific enough to get
your Google Map to give you actual steps to it.

So, you’re just wandering.

It’s been that way in my life a long time. I’ve wanted “more
freedom”, more income, to get in shape, etc… but those are so
general, it’s impossible to reach any of them.

Our brains work with specifics, so once you start coming up with
EXACTLY what you want, down to SPECIFICS… then you can
work backwards and device a plan to get there.

If you have a starting point right now, and you know specifically
WHAT you want to achieve/have/do/be, etc… you can then set
up a Google map to get you there. The actual steps you have to take.

If you’re not exact and specific, you just can’t get the exact
stuff you want in your life… because your brain has no idea
what THAT is.

The most successful times in my life, I took out a notebook
and at the top, wrote down “Finances”, “Career”, Relationship”,
“Health”, and so on.

Under that, I wrote at the top the absolute specifics as to WHAT
those things were.

I wanted to make $120,000 a year in 2001. I wanted to enter and
win a local bodybuilding show. I wanted to find a long term companion.
I wanted to build a personal trainer business.

Then, under each of those areas, I wrote the exact steps I’d have
to take, each and every day, in order to get to those places I wanted.

I broke it down to it’s most specific “do this, do that” steps.

When I saw that notebook again in 2005, I realized I had hit every
single one of those goals, and blew them out of the water.

But the years I didn’t write that stuff down?

Floundered.

Because I didn’t give my brain a target.

I was just using Google maps and putting in “anywhere” for a
destination… and that can’t work.

In your life, think of having Google maps for each and every
important area you want to improve… and then write out all the
steps you’ll need to take, in order to get there. It must, must,
must be specific.

Your brain cannot and will not work towards a target that’s
not specific.

Once you start really thinking about what you want your ideal
life to be, you can then design the steps to get there. You can
bridge the gap from where you are now… to where you want to be.

And you do that by writing out specific, concrete plans.

So, when I hear someone say “I wish I had a million dollars”…
I know they’ll never, ever get it because they have no plan to get
it. They have no steps or road map.

But if you want a million dollars and work backwards, and put
in actual steps that can make you X amount of dollars per day,
doing Y each day, you could very well end up with the million.

So if you want to design your ideal life, start with knowing what
that means, SPECIFICALLY… and then work backwards and
write down the steps you need to take.

I promise, get ultra specific in each and every area of your life
and you’ll achieve more in 6 months than you have in 6 years
of just saying “I want”…. without being specific.

It’s magic when you start thinking of your life as you REALLY
want it, and how it REALLY specifically looks… because then
you can work backwards and create a real, actionable plan
that can be followed.

Instead of telling google maps you want to go “anywhere”…
you know what a specific destination, so the steps and
directions you take can get you there.

Design your ideal life this year… it’s possible once you know
exactly what that means to you…

How to become an alpha male

Here’s a few things I did that made an extreme difference.

1) Exercise
Some dudes here insist on getting big, lifting heavy to bulk up – that seems like a waste of time. Whenever I see a guy posting gym selfies on social media, I just imagine him spending hours on forums calculating calories and watching arnold videos or whatever. Sure it’s respectable to have a monstrously huge body but you should be putting that time into meeting new people, learning hobbies/skills or making money. You could be brilliant but still come off as a meathead in a sweatshirt to most chicks.
Nothing wrong with getting jacked, but you shouldn’t spend more than an hour a day working out IMO. Get to a comfortable size, and then focus on definition – the six pack and perky chest is all you really need. I also notice a tendency of bodybuilder dudes to post literally nothing but muscle pics and food… it gets boring after a while I imagine!
The key here is getting stronger mentally. Forcing yourself to push through pain and release those nice endorphins that give you the confidence you can get shit done, however hard it is or tired you are. The body runs smoother too and all women like a fit guy

2) Eat healthy
In a world of hipsters, vegans and “free trade organic”, it’s hard to just mind your own business and eat nutritious food without catching some sort of flack amongst your buddies. Frankly, the majority of guys I know still pillage through fast food and beer every day. But you are what you eat – cut out the sugar and other crap, eat your greens and your body just feels energized way more. Also helps clear up your skin and acne significantly. Good to have a cheat day, once a week of eating junk as a reward.

3) Regular sleep
Get your 8 hours of sleep for fuck sakes, having energy through out the day allows you to do all the tasks you need to at full capacity. I haven’t napped in about 2 years as I always feel groggy and guilty after for wasting valuable time catching up on sleep from the night before. One of the most annoying things people say is “I’m so tired” all the time, don’t be one of those cucks

4) Strong social media
Social media is a sick, twisted game of people comparing themselves to others. It’s fucked up, but we all have to play it in this new world. Post pictures of you DOING cool shit – and I don’t mean you taking selfies, I mean out with friends and they take the photos OF you, as in, people see that you have friends and not a dog and a selfiestick. Quality over quantity – the cool hobby (instrument, rock climbing, team sports, art, .etc), the mysterious skill (carpentry, car repair, home renovation), pictures with girls way out of your league, or at least a bit better looking (prospecting girls compare themselves to the ones you are pictured with, how fucked is that). Once in a while, how about Grandma or a cute pet, maybe in a suit infront of a car. Just look like a cool guy, and maintain social media relationships with everybody you meet so that when you do find things in common, you can hang out and network.

5) Don’t overuse social media/the internet
The shit is addictive and you spend hours comparing yourself to others. Sure, in order to make yourself look like a cool dude, you have to play the game of building up a profile of a totally gnarly dude who has his shit together and a strong social life. But you don’t need to post anything more than once every 1-3 weeks, hell even less than that. Nobody likes people spamming their feed daily, or who are clearly influenced by how much attention they get. It’s easy to get hooked on posting pictures of yourself, passionate statuses – but the bottom line is if you are on social media without an actual reason, you are wasting valuable time! Get outside and then spend 5 minutes posting a pic, boom get back outside and dont fuck around on that time waster. Don’t get into the cycle of checking who liked it, that can really mess with your head

6) Eradicated Depression/Anxiety
Some of us have it, I think it’s a bit of a myth, but basically I’ve had great energy levels and an overall feeling of happiness 24/7 by eating healthy food, exercising regularly and getting my 8 daily hours of sleep. No longer will you feel gunshy, inadequate, frustrated and find excuses not to take chances. When you treat your body good you feel good and have good results – very simple

7) Rebuild old relationships & focus on male friendships
You know that guy or girl you haven’t spoken to since high school? Those guys from work who golf once in a while? Find an excuse to hang out with them and expand your circle of life. Even if it means hanging out with idiots, volunteering at the soup kitchen or searching online for meetups – it’s worth it in the end to expand your network, especially by reigniting your old friendships.
It’s also key to join sports teams, clubs, and just actively hang out with more guys. Eventually youll get invited to a wedding, birthday party or rock show and meet your buddys girlfriends friend who showed up dateless. Women love guys who are forced in the friendzone- since every dude is constantly trying to hook up with them, it’s relieving when they can just be friends with a guy. Infact, it lets them play matchmaker and wingman you

8) Stay busy
Probably the most important of all aside from exercise/sleep/diet trifecta. The only time I get bummed out now is when I’m “bored”, and have no mission to complete. Constantly be chasing goals, completing objectives and creating tasks to do – whether it’s self improvement, work productivity or helping others. If you are constantly occupied you dont have time to linger on rejection, and you actually make girls want you more because whenever you do make time for them, they feel much more special. Fake it til you make it – when women and friends around you start to assume (realize, rather) that you are constantly busy, they inevitably respect your work ethic and realize they have to try harder to fit into your timeline. Women love a man with direction who is in control of his own life.

9) Get rid of distractions
Fuck television, fuck video games, fuck youtube, read some books, learn some hobbies, get your life in order until you have a routine where you are working on YOURSELF for 10 hours then have a 1 hour reward at the end of the day. Every hour you spend staring at a screen (and I’m talking mindlessly watching TV or playing Cod, not studying articles/books/forums online) is an hour some other guy is being more alpha than you and getting his life in order.

10) Break out of the 9-5 cycle
If you are one of those cucks who does his 7-5 job, gets home and watches TV while overloading on carbs and beer, you need to break out. Life is expensive and bills need to be paid, but if you haven’t realized that the regular work routine prematurely ages you into a dreamless man imprisoned by the 40-50 hour work week, you are fucked. Spend those extra hours getting extra certifications, taking night classes, learning how to invest, brainstorming small business ideas or ways you can generate extra revenue – nothing more depressing than a guy who’s idea of “fun” is to hit up the same shitty bar on friday nights when he could be learning how to improve his financial standing by taking up a new career or skill.

11) Get your own place, when you are ready
Even if it means having to bring girls over to your moms basement, it should ignite a fire under your ass to get to a point in your career/job life that you have enough financial responsibility to afford to move out

12) Dress nicer
Go to the goodwill, salvation army, whatever piece of shit thrift shop you can find and pick up some nice denim pants, dress shirts and jackets/peacoats. Whatevers trending, the majestic business man look or casual hipster – doesn’t matter, you can find it at an absolute bargain price at the thrift store. $150 coats for $8, $70 dress shirts/pants for $5. Might take a few trips but you’ll get a sick wardrobe on a budget pretty easy. Only time you should actually toss money on NEW gear is shoes.

13) Don’t beat off more than once a week
Causes acne, stress, tricks your brain into thinking you are awesome and don’t need to improve since you are reproducing. Use that sexual frustration and energy to get your act together, not continuously abuse the 5 seconds of pleasure.

What to learn for life from Tai Lopez’ 67 steps program

I am showing you now, what I learned from Tai Lopez. I have learned a lot. So I’m not going to go into everything because that’s just retelling the sixty seven steps but I think what I can do is sum up how this affected me in general.

I think the one key concept from the sixty seven steps is always be learning. One of the ways to do this of course is through reading. It’s an easy way of getting the experiences of geniuses. You know Mavericks. You know dreamers. Living and dead. It’s a way of being personally mentored and inspired by the greats of history. And it’s also a way to expand your mind with the ideas and voices of the past and the future. And it’s almost without media bias. If you’re reading books. It will give you the most honest glimpse of what it took to make the greats great. And I think I said it before. It’s one of the things that I find very great and I want to say very attractive about Tai’s method. I’ve always been a reader.

Only way of learning the other thing is go to places. Go to seminars and events where the Great in your chosen field congregate. You know, meet those people, approach them. You’ll be surprised how approachable they are and if they’re not approachable then maybe they’re not the right mentor anyway. Learn from them. Be persistent, which was another key takeaway of the sixty-seven steps. And so many of Tai’s steps cover this concept of learning right from step one. Go to bed a little wiser than when you woke up. Probably fifty percent of the steps have to do in some way with learning, because you’re going to read books. And if you’re going to learn you have to be humble enough to accept the advice. And you want to learn, you have to look objectively at things around you.

Interviews. If you want to do that you have to learn to shy away from extreme view and convictions. So all those steps are about learning, but in reality it’s about opening yourself up and taking in only what you can verify and what has been verified by trusted sources. Once you take in that information and you can incorporate it into your decision making process, that’s the key. It’s not just to have the information, it’s act on it and you know there’s going to be a learning curve but eventually you’ll develop these kind of rational skills. You’ll learn to prioritize, you’ll learn when you’re being pushed by yourself or by other people, because of some kind of imagined set of rules.

Another chunk of the steps are about putting yourself in the right company type. Talk about the law of thirds. Spend thirty three percent of the time with your peers, with your equals, spend thirty three percent of the time with people who are a little bit behind you helping them out but spend thirty three percent of the time with people who are far ahead of you. And when you’re with those people, take it all in and shut up. Stop talking and get their input, get their knowledge as much as you can. Filtering out crap is also part of this. You don’t listen to your idiot friends when they talk about things they don’t know. Don’t be naive in thinking that everybody is on your side for Gods sake.

Stop listening to the popular media. It’s fear media. It’s another group of steps could be kind of called mastering the basics. You know learn how to balance your checkbook. You don’t have checkbooks anymore but you know what I mean, keep track of your finances, save money. But also learn what healthy food is and I avoid what I call diet dogma. Don’t be a vegan just because somebody says you should be a vegan take it all in you know get a basic exercise routine even if it’s just walking thirty minutes a day, make it a habit by doing it for a couple of months and then that’s going to be ingrained in you and makes you physically better but also learn how to speak in public and learn how to be persuasive. Because if you have these ideas and you have your goals if you can’t persuade other people to join, you’re going to fail.

Of course the other thing about Tai is this idea of finding your destiny. Don’t be attached to what you think it should be and to spend a day pushing all that stuff aside and do an evaluation. If you want, you can use Tai’s diagram thing he has asking where did you grow up around. Where did strangers give you positive feedback and what have you been doing for the last ten years and what can you talk about effortlessly. And so you do those four things. Think about it for a good while and see if that helps you. It doesn’t help everybody because to be honest it’s pretty vague. But for me it came down to one thing and that was don’t be afraid to go out there and do it. And you probably know the answer yourself why you’re you. What is it in what you’re really good at and what you could turn into your life’s purpose, your life’s work. The Japanese try to find a reason for getting up in the morning. When you’re working on that, you won’t need a vacation.

Screw vacations. We’re talking about Making a Life, not a chance to get more days off. But remember. Don’t follow your lust, lust dies. The lust you have for other people, just as the people have for you. It goes away. But belief and conviction. Strong convictions of course not, but that’s what’s going to take you through what you are naturally good at, that’s what’s going to take you through the person who’s naturally matched to you, which will be the one that you go through with.

And another big concept is this P.I. versus IP. P.I. is patiently impatient and this is what you do not want to be. The first letter refers to how you start. And the second refers to how you go on. So don’t be patient and start right now. Patiently impatient people take a long time to start and when they start they’re impatient for the result and they quit. You want to be IP. Be impatient, get started right away. What are you waiting for? I regret not throwing myself into things, but I throw myself into something now. IP is a brilliant concept. There are dozens of practical tips and practices.

So do I recommend the sixty-seven steps I get that question every day on here. Yes and no. To be honest I recommend my version. I think my version is better than his version. Honestly it’s shorter. It’s more clear. Now I don’t have a Lamborghini in the garage and I don’t have the girl without a bra standing next to me. Sorry about that. That’s what you want go and watch the Tai videos. If you want just a compact and easy way of how to make your life better read the articles on this site. That’s it.

Following are some quotes:

Warren Buffett. The first rule of business is don’t lose money.

Peter Drucker. Most people think they know what they’re good at and they’re usually wrong.

Maya Angelou. Hoping for the best prepared for the worst and unsurprised by anything in between.

Charlie Munger. To get what you want you have to deserve what you want. The world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a bunch of undeserving people monger again.

Charlie Munger. As a duty, get your ass in the chair and do it.

Benjamin Graham. What you really want to do is not make a lot of mistakes make a lot of base hits make sure steady steps. Don’t swing for the bleachers every time. That’s a recipe for disaster.

Abe Lincoln. I learned from everyone I meet. Usually I’m learning what not to do.

So this is really it. I really appreciate all of you coming along for the ride and always drop me a comment. I answer as much as I can as fast as I can. Thanks again and see you soon.